They say that some careers are more of a calling. I would have to say that matchmaking has always been my calling. I did not know that I was looking for it, but I definitely answered when it came a ringing. My journey to matchmaking was an unexpected twist in the path of my life, not a detour, just an alternate route that brought me to where I was meant to be.
Because I believe that each part of our journey prepares us for the path ahead, I am going to take you on a little scenic ride through how my matchmaking career began.
As a child, I was always looking for love. I found it to be an elusive adversary and alluring muse all at once. I never quite felt it's embrace, but I could feel its presence, lingering around like a creeper on the other side of a doorway. I felt alone much of my childhood, a bit of a social butterfly whose wings had been clipped so as to remain in her cage. Even though I did not know love intimately, I felt as if I had to have her, and I wanted others to have her as well. Who knew that love would be my career of choice. Growing up I wanted to be a cardiac surgeon, probably because my dad had so many heart problems. I also wanted to be a lawyer, a vet, and an actress. I even almost caved and joined the Air Force, as they were trying hard to recruit me. Super random I know. (All of the places we shall go and see, opportunities laid out before and behind me.)
My first job in high school (other than the obligatory babysitting gigs), was as an elf in Santaland at a local department store. It was a seasonal position, but it definitely left an impact. I remember showing up for the first day of work in the assigned uniform (Green wrap around mini skirt, white turtleneck, green vest, tights, a green hat, and these annoying af booties with bells that let everyone know that you were coming their way). My job was to take pictures of kids sitting on Santa's lap. It was interesting to say the least, but I could feel the love of the season, so I was hooked. After the season ended, I stayed on as a sales associate in the men's department. I loved helping men shop for clothes, being a part of assisting them to look their best. It was a bit of a rocky start though. I was a total rookie. What happened the first time that I was asked to measure a man's inseam? Let's just say that I should have bought him a drink first. I had no idea what I was doing, and I am pretty sure that I unintentionally covered 2nd base. Ugghh.
There were a few other part-time jobs over the high school years in retail. One of my favorites was as a sales associate in a jewelry store. I loved helping people to pick out engagement rings and random birthday and anniversary gifts. I also adored hearing about their stories of love. It gave me hope. Love was my drug of choice, and I was hooked.
The college years came next. I put myself through school, so I worked the entire time, often working 2+ jobs over summer breaks as well. I double majored in Sociology and Law, and I double minored in Psychology and Communications. Unintentionally, this ended up being the perfect educational storm for a career in matchmaking. I worked various positions within the social sciences to help expand my experience in navigating people and their various challenges. This helped me to carve out my coaching skill set as well, an integral part of the matchmaking process.
Some of my college jobs included the following: an intake coordinator in a domestic abuse shelter for women and children, an intake coordinator at a drug and alcohol treatment center, a crisis line phone operator, an Alumni fundraiser, and a Math and English tutor for other university students. All of these positions helped me to sharpen my interviewing skills and the ability for getting a full picture of where someone's current life is at, their current "state of affairs" if you will. I also volunteered as an ESL tutor through a community outreach program and was the Managing Editor and a reporter for the college newspaper. All of these skills learned were an integral part of what made me a better matchmaker, and a better overall human.
The summer after I graduated from Purdue University, I had planned on working to save money for law school. I answered an ad in the paper for a part-time job at a local boutique matchmaking agency. I remember sitting in the lobby of the service, filling out the application on the little clipboard that they provided me. I was so full of curiosity and questions. I noticed a woman who was probably in her 30's sitting next to me with her own little clipboard. I assumed that she was also filling out a job application. She asked me what I thought of the matchmaking concept. I said, "Oh God. I would never do it, but I am sure some people do." As it turns out, she was there to become a member of the service, not for a job. Oh how the universe likes to "puppet master" me. (Dance jester dance.) Being the Gemini that I am, I was quick on my feet with a comeback to smooth things over. I said something to the tune of, "Well, I am too young to want to date seriously, so I would never do this. However, I bet that it is great for people looking to get married. Are you looking to get married?" Indeed she was, so I continued on to ask her what she was looking for in her ideal partner. The person who was to interview me saw the whole train wreck unfold, as well as my recovery. He hired me on the spot.
I completely fell in love with that job from day 1. I decided right then and there that I was not going to go to law school, and that I was going to become a matchmaker instead. I worked hard to learn the ropes, and I read anything and everything that I could get my hands on that had to do with matchmaking, coaching, dating, and relationships. I was a fast study, and I was great at it. Matchmaking was my way to bring more love into the world. I stayed with that particular agency for 5 years, moving from part-time to full-time very quickly. That was the beginning of my matchmaking career, a journey that has spanned 20+ years.
I have worked various other jobs over the years, but I was always still matchmaking at the same time. These other jobs, especially in my 20's and 30's, became more of a way for me to sharpen my tech and marketing skills while learning to navigate corporate America and different personalities. These jobs also helped me to be a better matchmaker and dating coach.
Because I believe that giving back to your community is an integral part of growth, and your duty as a fellow human, I have also volunteered with various organizations over the years. These unique experiences have helped to shape me and how I view the world.
As part of my ongoing journey to learn "all of the things", both for personal growth and for adding to my skill set to help my clients, I am always reading and consuming as much knowledge as possible. I read 100+ books per year, mostly within psychology, sociology, communications, dating, social stratification, astrology/human design, wellness/nutrition, the epigenetics, and tech. "Always keep reading and growing" is a mindset that I like to live. I have an intense love affair with the written word, and I consume and ignite that passion on a daily basis.
The past few years, I have been asking for "experiences" instead of gifts. I am currently taking a photography course and a raw vegan dessert chef certification course, both gifts that I treasure immensely. I also recently became an IIN Certified Integrative Nutrition Health Coach. I have learned over the past 8 years since I lost the love of my life, that life is short, too short. You should always do the things that excite and intrigue you. Say yes to all of the things that you want to do. It makes you better at your job, both at work, and as being a functioning human. As a matchmaker, I need to be able to tell people to follow their heart. So, that is what I am doing, at all times. I will try the ridiculous, and I will report back. It helps me to be a better coach. You have to live life in order to encourage others to do the same. It is a lesson that took me a long time to learn.
So, this is where my journey has led me. I started out wanting to become a cardiac surgeon, and I ended up fixing broken hearts in a completely different way, including my own. I am a work in progress. I am brilliant and ridiculous, a potpourri of genius and "hot mess". That's okay. I own that shit, every single last bit of it. The path behind me has taken me on various detours, but all of the roads have led me back to my pursuit of love. As elusive as she is, I have found her time and time again. I have fostered and nurtured her as I prepared her for my clients. My cupid's arrow has struck time and time again, and I am always looking for my next target. Who will it be? Let's wait and see. This girl has lots of love left in her wings.
From my heart to yours,
XOXO Lisa Maria
