We are a few days into January, and we find ourselves at the beginning of another new year. Do you remember the promises that you made to yourself last January 1st? How did you do with your resolutions last year? It seems that with every New Year we make ourselves a promise, a list of "resolutions" that we must keep in order for this year to be "our best year yet". We can make our list of demands for what we want to accomplish in the next 365 days, but if we don't include a plan of action, then we usually fall off of the resolution bandwagon. Our mission statement becomes a misstep. So, how do you turn your resolutions into realizations? You do this by letting go. Here are my steps for ditching the resolutions once and for all, while still attaining the results that you want.
Step 1: Be clear on what you want, and write it down. Do you want to lose 20 pounds? Find love? Get your dream job? Start a new business? Whatever your heart desires, write it down. Be as detailed as possible. Make sure to also be specific on your timeline for completing this task. Setting mini goals along the way will also help you to see progress as you move forward. Celebrate the little wins as much as the big wins. This will keep you motivated.
Step 2: Reflect on why you want to achieve this goal. Figure out your "why". Why do you want to start a new business or lose weight? If your first intuition is to say "because I will be happy once I achieve this goal", then pause right there and dig deeper. I promise you that hitting this goal will not spontaneously lead to your happiness. The number one reason why people revert back to their old habits after achieving their goal is that they attached their emotional wellbeing to the outcome of their goal. Happiness is not the end game. Your "why" is what gets you through the journey, even on the super shitty "I don't want to do this" days. For example, you can say that you want to start a new business because you are looking for more financial freedom, the ability to work from anywhere, and to have more time with your kids. That would be your "why".
Step 3: Go back and read Step 2 again. The inner work and clarity needs to happen before the goal. Give yourself an emotional enema and do the work. Journal. Go to therapy. Meditate. Exercise. Create something beautiful. Walk in nature. Take a bubble bath. Listen to music and dance it out. Get used to being you. Sit in the quiet noise of all your mess, and just feel it. Feel it and then move on. When it comes up again, pause and feel it again. Emotions are a part of life. Nobody, and I repeat, nobody is happy ALL of the time. We just learn to pause and feel our emotions, and then we manage them and move on. Your "why" will give you the fuel you need to move forward during the tough times.
Step 4: Take a break. You just finished doing some pretty impressive high dives off of your mind and landed in your heart. Take a moment to soak it all in. Give yourself some grace and love in this moment.
Step 5: Get to work. This is the part where you start outlining the steps to reach your goal. What will you get done in the next 3 months, one month, this week, today? Break it all down. If your goal is to lose weight, then how many times per week will you workout over the next 3 months? What will your food plan look like? When will you weigh and measure yourself? When will you food prep? What will you do today to make a difference? Will you choose to bring a protein packed salad and healthy snacks to work instead of going through the drive-thru at lunchtime? Set short-term and long-term goals for yourself. It makes the ultimate goal seem less intimidating.
Step 6: Take Action: Now that you know what the steps are to achieve your goals, go do them. Keep yourself accountable. Note your results. I like to use apps to record how I feel, what I eat, when I workout, when I meditate, etc. I also like to write in a journal along the way to express myself. Gemini (air sign) problems. We like to communicate, even if it is with ourselves. Find what works for you.
Step 7: Refine your plan along the way. You are not perfect. You will make mistakes. If you set an action step of working out at 5am every morning, and you find yourself cursing the morning gods for interrupting your peaceful slumber, then morning workouts are not for you. Adjust your workout time to later in the day, like during your lunch break or before you eat dinner. If your body is so exhausted from working out all week and your are not feeling it today, then skip a day and get back to it tomorrow. This is about progress, not perfection. I follow the 80/20 rule myself in most areas of my life. I eat healthy 80% of the time, but I leave the other 20% for an occasional almond croissant or a glass of red wine. I do the same with work. I have laser focus 80% of the time, and I leave the other 20% for spontaneous "play time", like sneaking out for a walk along the lake or having a 20 minute call with a friend. It is all about balance.
I hope that this has helped you to ditch the "resolution" mindset. You don't have to wait until the new year, new month, or even a new day to start over. Start today. Most resolutions are just dreams without action, or with temporary action followed by a free fall into oblivion. Whether your goal is to get healthier, find a partner, go on your dream vacation (all of us these days), start a business, or just to be a better overall version of yourself, do something today to get you closer to where you want to be. Goals are destinations with rest stops along the way. Take the wheel, roll down the windows, blast some killer music, and drive.
XOXO,
Matchmaker Lisa Maria
