Are you looking to meet someone special? Well, it all starts with a well-written profile. Think of your profile as your “resume” for dating. It sets the tone for the type of people that you will attract, and how your dating experiences will unfold. Make sure that you put in the work on your profile. This is not a place where you want to cut corners. If you “half ass” the writing of your profile, then you will end up with “half ass” dates. Like attracts like, so remember that.
So, how do you write a great online profile? Here are my 10 tips for writing an online dating profile that will not just get you dates, but will help you find love:
1) Be Honest! This should really be a given, but I cannot tell you how many online profiles I have read where honesty has been hijacked and replaced with alluring deceit. One of the things that I have learned over the years as a dating and love coach is that when dishonesty is in play, some women tend to lie about their age and their weight, and some men tend to lie about their height and their hairline. Own who you are, perceived flaws and all because believe me, somebody is going to notice if you are 50 pounds heavier or 5 inches shorter than what your profile states. This also stands true for marital status, occupation, income, etc. Don’t waste your time or your date’s time by misrepresenting yourself.
2) Use Great Photos. You are trying to put the best version of yourself out there, so why not get professional photos taken. Many photographers are happy to take a few shots of you for your online profile at a reasonable rate. If you are using your own photos, please make sure that they are appropriate and up to date. They should look like you do NOW, not what you looked like 5 years ago. If you are using some "group photos" on your profile, make sure that they can tell which one you are. On that note, you probably don't want to post a picture of you and your 2 hottest friends because they might like your friends better than they like you. Finally, make sure that you are appropriately dressed for who you are as a person. For instance, if you are not a suit guy, don’t take a picture of yourself in a suit. You will just look uncomfortable.
3) Be Authentic. Let your profile be an extension of your personality. Your profile should be in your “voice”. Paint a picture of what your everyday life is like. Share some of your favorite things. Invite people into your world with your descriptors. Your profile should read in a way that allows people to see what excites you and makes you uniquely “you”. Let them know why they should choose you for the role of their potential partner.
4) List Your Hobbies. Compatibility is a huge part in determining the success of a relationship. If you love sports, make sure your profile states that. If you are a creative type who is obsessed with the arts, make sure to divulge that little tidbit. Are you a Crossfit warrior who is obsessed with working out? If so, then yep, that needs to be on there too. You want to make sure that your life will fit into the life of your potential mate. If you wake up every morning at 5am and workout for 2 hours before work, and your potential date stays up watching TV until 2am and uses their treadmill as a clothes hanger, then you are probably going to have some issues.
5) Set Your Expectations. If you are just looking for a casual fling, then state that in your profile. If your ultimate goal is be in a long-term relationship, then make that clear as well. Your profile should be a prequel so that people know what is going to come next. Don’t play games.
6) Be Creative. Let your profile read like a condensed version of your memoir. Share some funny anecdotes about a unique travel experience you had. Share why you chose the career path that you are on. Add a quote from your favorite author. Say something that will set you apart from the thousands of other profiles online. Grab their attention.
7) Be Positive. Please do not let your profile read like a “man/woman bashing” tirade. We all have “ex” drama in our past. Leave it in the past. You are here for a fresh start. Don’t be a “Debbie Downer”. I have seen profiles that start out with, “I have never done anything like this before, and this is probably not going to work because all of my past relationships have been a complete nightmare, but let me give it a try.” What a catch? Where does the line start to date this person? Run. Run far away from those profiles. Those people have some “internal redecorating” to do. Use positive language like, “I am looking forward to meeting someone who……”, or “I am so excited to start this new phase in my life”. People are drawn to the light, and most are afraid of the dark.
8) Check Your Ego. It is great to have healthy self-esteem, but try to strike the perfect balance of positive self-worth and humility. You want to portray confidence, but you don’t want to go overboard and say things like, “I am the greatest catch of all time because I am a doctor who makes a great deal of money. ” Instead, say something like, “I thoroughly enjoy my life as a successful surgeon because it allows me the ability to serve others.” If you reveal interesting facts about yourself in a humble way, then people will respond to you.
9) Edit Your Profile. Please make sure to re-read your profile a few times, not just to check for grammar and punctuation errors, but to make sure that it is an accurate portrayal of who you are. Have a friend read your profile as well. Your friends know you better than anyone. Run your profile by them to see if it really reads in a way that reflects you. (On a side note, if you are not much of a writer, you can always hire someone to write your profile for you. Just make sure to give that person accurate notes, and make sure that they get a feel for your personality, so that your profile reads in your “voice.”) Also, don't be afraid to go back and give your profile a "tune up" every few weeks/months. You will realize things about yourself as a dater as you go on more dates, so use that new knowledge in your profile. (Insider tip: when you make any changes to your profile, the algorithm refreshes and sets you as a "new bio", so you are shown to more people.)
10) End With a Hook. Your online profile is your “sales pitch” in a manner of speaking, so make sure that you ask for the sale. End with something clever like, “I am confident that my profile gives you an idea of who I am, so if “who I am” is someone that you can see yourself across from at dinner, then message me.” Create an action statement. Show people that you are interested and serious about meeting someone special.
Yesterday was the busiest online dating day of the year. I hope that you now have a better understanding of how to write your online profile. Have fun with it. As long as you are honest and interesting, people will respond to you. They will want to date you, which is much more exciting than sitting home on a Saturday night. I wish you much love in your dating journey ahead.
With Love and Gratitude,
Matchmaker Lisa Maria